This list of definitions is your ultimate guide to understanding the Flush Friends universe and bringing it to life!

flush friend n. a personified toilet who takes pride in serving humans with honor and integrity. More than mere toilets, flush friends represent a unique camaraderie with humans. They are alive and well; accepting them brings them to life. These personified figures bridge the gap between humor and wisdom, offering insights into how addressing and embracing our natural quirks can lead to confidence and success.

meal n. what personified toilets or flush friends consume; human waste products. In other words, meals are what humans deposit in their bowls. Yes, we’re talking about poop, but doesn’t “meal” sound so much more pleasant? Meal can also be used in other ways. v. mealed (had a seat) adj. mealy (crappy) n. mealer (sitter)

have a seat v. the act of mealing in a flush friend’s bowl. It’s a phrase that’s both polite and humorous, reflecting the lighthearted nature of the Flush Friends community. For example, “I had a wonderful seat with my flush friend this morning. We really bonded over my coffee-induced meal.” past. had a seat prog. having a seat 

sitter n. what flush friends call someone who sits on their seat, or has a seat, to meal. 

carbs n. carbs, short for carbohydrates, are what flush friends eat with their meals. In human terms, carbs are toilet paper (or leaves in ancient times), an essential component of the bathroom experience. Flush friends enjoy a high-carb diet!

wink n. 1. an anus 2. a personified anus. While it may seem like an odd term, it’s part of the whimsical world of Flush Friends. Just remember, your wink is very different from a wink from someone flirting with you. pl. winkies

wink shout n. a fart or the act of passing gas, like a butt’s way of blowing a kiss to the world. In the right context, a wink shout can create memorable moments, though mindfulness of others’ sense of smell is important. By relabeling them as wink shouts, we inject humor into an otherwise potentially embarrassing situation, encouraging people to laugh together rather than cringe apart. v. wink shouting

joyless wink n. someone who doesn’t find any humor in wink shouts or meals, ever, and takes themselves and life too seriously. Flush friends believe that laughter and joy are essential parts of life, even in the bathroom.

Wink Shout Fairy n. a mischievous male character who makes wink shout sounds and smells around unsuspecting people, who then get blamed for the sounds and smells. Known for appearing and disappearing while offering cryptic but wise advice. You can blame the Wink Shout Fairy, but we know who really did it.

OMBG interj. (i.e., oh my brown/bowl God/gosh) is the equivalent of OMG or oh my God/gosh in the Flush Friends community. It’s a versatile expression used by flush friends that can fit almost any situation, depending on the tone.

LOBL interj. (i.e., laugh out brown/bowl loud) is the equivalent of LOL in the Flush Friends community. v. LOBL’d (I LOBL’d at his joke)

Meal Mime n. a mysterious human figure who performs elaborate pantomimes of natural functions. Rarely seen on Earth and considered a myth by some flush friends until witnessed in person. Seeing the Meal Mime is considered good luck.

Takashita n. a wise, ancient Asian flush friend who lived centuries ago. Known for his sage advice “Everybody do it!” and philosophical insights about bathroom humor and self-acceptance. Recognized by all flush friends as an advanced soul (like Jesus or Buddha).

Flush Friends Code of Honor n. a set of principles that flush friends vow to uphold, including keeping their sitter’s meal and wink shout details secret, sharing carbs freely, and maintaining the joyful spirit of Bathroom Land in both conduct and cleanliness. By adhering to this code, they ensure that their sitters have the best possible experience. Think of them as the honor guard of the bathroom world, sworn to secrecy; what happens in the bowl stays in the bowl! 

The Flush Friends Golden Rule n. this rule is simple yet powerful: laugh together, but be mindful of smells. As flush friends like to say, “The sound is funny, but the smell isn’t; keep your smells to yourself!” Ventilate or separate! 

This golden rule is the cornerstone of flush friends etiquette. It encourages everyone to find humor in their shared human experiences while maintaining consideration for others. Remember, a well-timed wink shout can break the ice, but a poorly timed one can clear a room!

carb aisle n. the aisle at the supermarket where carbs (toilet paper) are found. Sometimes single flush friends pretend to be shopping and wait around in the carb aisle for a sitter that catches their eye. They’ll swoop in and reach for the same package, hoping to “spontaneously” create a “meet-cute” romantic moment.

TRC n. Tobee Recreation Center; local recreation centers found in every city where flush friends gather for activities, socializing, and relaxation. Features include swimming pools, tennis, volleyball, game rooms, and refreshments. The monthly fee is a modest $2, never more, due to generous grants from wealthy flush friends. 

Joyless Wink Secret Society n. an ancient organization dedicated to eradicating bathroom humor from the planet. Only select, elitist, but unknown joyless winks are part of this mysterious society. 

public flush friend n. a toilet that works in a public facility, such as a mall, airport, or other high-traffic locations. These flush friends must be especially diligent in maintaining cleanliness and providing a welcoming environment for all sitters. They’re the unsung heroes of the Flush Friends world, dealing with all sorts of . . . situations. 

pay flush friend n. a pay flush friend is a flush friend who accepts sitters in exchange for money. While this practice is not common, it does exist in certain locations throughout the world. 

blabber bowl n. a flush friend who breaks the code of honor by sharing the meal and wink shout secrets of sitters (i.e., humans). Instead of serving with integrity, these loose-lipped (or seated) latrines are the gossip columnists of the bathroom world. Flush friends value discretion and trust, so blabber bowls are generally frowned upon. 

You stink! interj. an expression flush friends use when upset or mad. Since they almost never use curse words and don’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings, this is their common phrase for expressing frustration or irritation. 

Traditional Flush Friends Greetings n. pl. standard salutations including “May your bowl always be fresh,” “Keep your seat warm,” “Flush well, friend,” the formal lid-bow, and the casual lid flip.

soft serve meal n. a flush friends favorite: ice cream trucks or shops offer frozen soft serve meal for flush friends.  

No-Stink medication n. a pharmaceutical drug prescribed by doctors to help reduce the smell of wink shouts and meals.

Dr. Trent Turdstack n. a distinguished flush friend psychiatrist and Certified Meal Management Specialist who helps people find balance between proper etiquette and natural functions.

Dr. T. Barbara Boothole n. a renowned flush friend philosopher, author, poet, and artist, known for her book Fart, Laugh, and Be Happy.

Talanus Turdwell n. an emerging flush friend voice in flush friend literature and the author of Alice in Bathroom Land. 

Terra n. a beautiful, wealthy, powerful flush friend businesswoman in NYC who owns the most successful Flush Friends modeling agency and is a former model. No one knows her true age. 

Tank n. a handsome, famous Flush Friend actor in Hollywood, known primarily for action movies, but he stars in other types too. Notable for his wild reputation and pool parties where there’s never a shortage of ladies lining up to “have a seat” with him.

ITC n. International Tobee Convention; a massive gathering held every six months in Las Vegas where flush friends from around the world showcase new inventions and products, share meal recipes, meet old and new friends, and attend lectures by famous speakers like Dr. Trent Turdstack and Dr. T. Barbara Boothole.

Biscuit the Horse and Wink Shout the Horse n. famous equine brothers known for their ability to wink shout at will and their cheerful acceptance of natural functions. Often serve as comic relief and wise guides.

London School of Meal Management n. a prestigious academic institution where flush friends study the art and science of meal management. Notable alumni include Dr. T. Dookie Flushmore and Dr. T. Barbara Boothole.

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